Relationship Issues

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You do you Boo Boo”, said Jesus. Well, kind of. Actually, my daughter Lauren says that, but let’s say it was Jesus. Cause it sort of sounded like He said it.

Why? Some of the people we are gonna look at are gonna convince you of this truth.

That’s sort of how it went down. Flesh it out, fight it out. but you gotta do you.

Jesus is basically saying, “How long and how many times do we need to go over this?” It seems like on a regular basis, because we aren’t the fastest learners.

Peter and John

Jesus was saying this to Peter because he was preoccupied with John.

You can read about it in John 21:21

When it comes to relationships not much has changed since Jesus walked the earth.

The disciples got on each others nerves. Just like we do. Peter was bold and straight forward, calling a spade a spade. Annoyed by John’s reference to himself as the favored and favorite one to Jesus.

John, who was always lying on the chest of Jesus brought out the redneck, insecure side of Peter. Peter wasn’t a fan of John’s self imposed title, “The one Jesus loved” and He let it be known to Peter and Jesus.

I Can Identify

Truth be told, I’m not sure I wouldn’t have felt like Peter. John’s title had a way of making Peter feel less than or annoyed with John’s pedestal of being the adored disciple.

Jesus shut it down, telling Peter to worry about himself.  Apparently, Jesus was cool with John’s tender side. So he brought a gentle correction to another one of Peter’s opinions about someone.

Mary and Martha

Mary and Martha competed and whined about their individual wirings. Comparing themselves to each other about who was doing the more important task.

Basically, they were jockeying for position in female version. The familiar:

“My task is more important than your task.”

“My time management is more approved than yours.” They struggled with what they were called to offer Jesus and others.

Women can be catty. Jealousy soars. Competition lurks through our insecurities and where we fit in the circle.

Life seems blurry the moment we set our eyes on someone wired different than us. We start comparing our calling to theirs.

Insecurity: The Mephibosheth Syndrome

The internal conflict we experience can make us feel like a place at the table is for everyone else but us. It’s a Mephibosheth mindset.

Remember him?

His story is in 2 Samuel 16.

The grandson of a king who got dropped by a nurse and left him crippled in his feet. We do the same thing. Someone drops us. We get crippled. Someone else gets the position we wanted, crippled again.

Who am I to have a place at the King’s table is what we start asking ourselves. When self doubt leads the way we get preoccupied about where we fit and where we are supposed to sit.

Learning to leave space for the grace God brings to us happens by celebrating the unique gifting God gave you.

A wrong view of ourselves, like Mephibosheth, not only keeps us stuck but keeps us in fear through life. Let’s look at some other characters who had issues and fear about each other.

More Examples

There was some crazy family drama between Rachel and Leah over a man named Jacob. A modern day Jerry Springer episode unfolding in this story.

Jacob was a little questionable himself until his nature change. He knew how to manipulate to get what he wanted.

One encounter with God brought about a wrestling match between them that settled the dilemma. Jacob was left with a limp as a reminder that He wasn’t God.

He changed and grew. I’ve had the same type of wrestling’s to flesh out. My struggles with God and people have left me limping a time or two.

Even though Jacob pined away for Rachel and was willing to work for 14 years for her, this didn’t give him a complete pass..

Even though it was customary in that culture and during those times to have more than one wife He wasn’t naive. He was aware that two women were pursuing him. Drama. Drama. Drama.

I’ve yet to meet a man whose ego hasn’t been stroked by two women wanting him. Not once. Nevertheless, human nature doesn’t change much but a heart change from God can change the nature of a person.

That’s Jacob’s story.

Never underestimate what God is secretly doing in someone’s life. Even if you think you know by your own conclusion. God writes the end of the story.

Jacob had that nature change. Women can do that to you. Emotions, hormones and sibling rivalry. Enough said. You have a recipe right here for a man to have a wrestling match with God.

For that matter anyone that could save him from the relational chaos He had gotten himself into would have probably been welcomed.

Relationships always bring some turbulence. Different personality types and ways of doing things can challenge all of us but they don’t have to bring chaos. They can actually bring compliments to one another.

The Need For Clarity

Having clarity about what you are supposed to do, and the gifts you have, can eliminate unnecessary comparison or competition.

When you know what you’re supposed to do you do it. Sounds simple enough. But, it isn’t because we are all different with our gifting, our temperaments and skills.

We have to work together to accomplish our jobs and understand each other.

Relationships Matter

Our relationships matter and we help each other grow. Knowing where they fit and what they represent in your life is like putting a puzzle together.

Exciting, maddening, calming, boring. And just like all these emotions this is exactly what we experience when God brings different people together in relationship.

Next time you’re tempted to clobber someone, consider why God brought you together.

It’s your turn.

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1 thought on “Relationship Issues”

  1. Great article, Michelle! Thanks for the clarity even though it is difficult to do at times, especially with family members!

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