Nehemiah 8:10
Do not sorrow, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.
How did I get here…again?
I feel a broken heart creeping in once again.
Battling disappointment wasn’t too unfamiliar, but I had made so much progress. A new normal. Nothing resembled what I thought my life would look like.
I sat in the car rider line that day waiting to pick up my youngest.
I glanced at the car in front of me whose bumper sticker said, My kid wants to beat up your honor roll student. Sometimes, if I’m honest, life can feel this way. Sucker punches.
Not sure if these bumper stickers are indicative of our true feelings but the sting of life is revealed in them. The disillusionment of how fast things can go south brings things out of my heart I am less than proud of.
I try to rejoice with you when things are going great even when life is falling apart on my end.
The green-eyed monster of jealousy wants to show up through disappointment. Envy starts tugging for my attention.
The life you have looks very intact while mine is falling apart. A weary, drained heart is tough to navigate through life with.
Have You Felt This?
Have you ever had experiences that told you the same thing? Your dreams seemed as if they were placed in a colander and leaked out into the earth. Hope seems elusive with each disappointment.
Deprived of understanding I wrestle and pin my heart to the ground, trying to convince myself, this heartbreak would heal. The pain and sting would pass.
This season of life seemed like I was watching the scenes of someone else’s life. Watching on the edge of my seat thinking, I wonder what will happen next.
It felt surreal. Like a Hallmark movie without a great ending.
This is often the feeling we have when the enemy wants to sift our lives. Numbing, heart-gripping disappointment, shock, and disbelief.
This would take more than pulling myself up by my faith bootstraps. I wanted the ache to stop.
I wanted my rose-colored glasses to be put back on.
I wanted my dreams to march up and kiss me and announce, We are here!
But they didn’t.
They slipped away.
I tried chasing them only to end up holding my shattered heart. And pieces of that were gone. Dust in the wind.
Friends didn’t have words, they had hugs. These helped more. I had a few of Job’s comforters, attempting to comfort me with stinging words of condemnation. They meant well, but instead it kind of felt hard, like it was dropped on me from hell.
The Trials of Life
Trials try you. Test you. Nothing God allows is sent to torture you. That’s the devil’s doing.
What if your pain was for a purpose? What if you wrapped up all of the, “I don’t understand”, all of the, “But why God?” All of the, “How am I supposed to make it through this?”
Nehemiah 8:10
Do not sorrow, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.
What if you gave all of the ashes that represented your dreams and placed them at his feet?
What if God sat you on his lap and said, I know this hurts. I do. I care. I can make it up to you. I can give you new hope. New dreams.
How could surrendering your sorrow and sadness today make a path for God to bring in fresh joy for your tomorrow?
We need joy. Fresh joy. Joy for a new normal.
Isaiah 43:18-19
Do not remember the former things, Nor consider the things of old. Behold I will do a new thing, Now it shall spring forth; shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness And rivers in the desert.
God is doing something new and whatever is old is stale. It often is covered up with stinking thinking. Garbage lying around long enough starts attracting pests.
It’s a breeding ground, friends. Mindsets can be receptacles for trash thinking. A new mindset can enable us to take out the garbage and remove the breeding ground for spiritual pests.
If we stay stuck in old mindsets they become ruts. Ruts become familiar paths and the memories of pain start stinking more than just stinging now. They stink because we nurse them by meditating on them.
What if new mindsets purged the pain out of us?
What if we started to speak life and hope to someone else? This faith-stretching step for us would be sowing seeds for joy to be found again.
Disappointment Is An Appointment
What if we looked at disappointment more like an appointment with God?
A standing appointment to meet with Him and let go of all of our expectations of how we thought things would turn out.
To let His words speak to us, comfort us, and strengthen us. To climb upon His lap and rest. Reminding yourself of the comfort of His love.
We can be dazzled by how great His love is for us rather than disillusioned by our disappointments.
God is wanting to give us so much but He won’t force us. He gently waits for us to ask.
Lord, help us to see the new thing you are doing today. Transform us by the renewing of our minds as we encounter you through your word. Heal our broken places and open our eyes to what you are doing.