I watched as she positioned the miniature furniture delicately in her cottage. She said, Look, Mimi, My house looks good.
My granddaughter was busy placing furniture in each room for her family of miniature rabbits. With focused attention, she moved each piece of furniture into each room of her cozy cottage.
Just like my granddaughter, we love to decorate our homes and make them look beautiful.
We hunt for the perfect piece of furniture to fit our home. I wonder what our lives would be like if we selected our words as thoughtfully as we do our home decor. It can be therapeutic and fun to decorate our home but It’s our attitude that reflects the beauty of a home.
We can take back pieces that don’t work in a room but our spoken words are a different story. Once released it’s hard to stuff them back in. Words build up or tear down. They have the potential to heal or hurt and a person can wield a lot of power with a word.
Our Speech Reveals Our Heart
Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.Matthew 12:34
It is possible to drive by a million-dollar house but it might not be a home. It might be filled with beautiful things but sad people. Houses filled with strife and not love are more costly than a dollar amount.
A wise woman builds her house by watching over her ways first and then, the ways of her house. She wants to build something that is lasting, not temporary. A foolish woman does not build this way.
She wants to build character in the members of her household by demonstrating this with her own careful choices.
It is more taught than caught by being intentional about what she wants to instill in her home.
A foolish woman neglects all these things.
The law of kindness is on her tongue
A wise woman builds her house by setting an example in having conversations full of grace and seasoned with salt towards her family.
She is slow to speak and quick to listen when she feels angry. She knows her attitude is something she controls and can set the tone with each family member.
She guards her tongue against speaking critically about others and she brings encouragement as she corrects things that are out of order.
This doesn’t mean she is never angry but she chooses how to respond in those moments when she could blow her lid.
A wise woman builds her house by guarding her heart against becoming resentful when her family members aren’t pulling their weight around the house.
When yet again she comes into a kitchen full of dirty dishes. She can hit pause and exhale for a minute before she addresses it. Sixty seconds of breathing deeply have spared hearts broken by words spoken in anger.
Remember this when they don’t complete chores, or fulfill the honey-do list, or wait until the last minute scrambling with a school project that is due tomorrow.
She keeps forgiveness at the forefront of her heart. When she can’t control things that didn’t get done she makes sure she controls herself. She can always control herself and her response in whatever is left undone.
She might feel the anger but she doesn’t nurse it and allow it to take first place as she instructs them. Wisdom teaches her to preserve an atmosphere that keeps arguing at a minimum. She knows how to de-escalate the members of her household carrying water to situations and not gasoline.
She has the power to build her house or tear it down with her own hands.
A wise woman builds her house by managing her finances and her time well. She doesn’t blow money or hide the real amount she spent from her husband.
She builds respect within her home by setting an example. It is possible to be married to a fool and be a Godly woman.
This was Abigail’s dilemma in the Bible. She married a selfish person named Nabal but this wasn’t who she was. Her husband’s name Nabal means fool. She had wisdom and was led by The Lord but Nabal was led by selfishness and stinginess… Nabal infuriated David.
David and his men had been protecting the fields of Nabal and were hungry and tired. These men were all good to Nabal and his men. They had been keeping the enemy away and preserving Nabal’s land
They knew Nabal could help with provisions for them to be fed but Nabal selfishly said, No. David was ramped up, to say the least. Nabal infuriated David.
Nabal returned evil to him and His men for all the good they did.
Abigail heard and watched what was happening. She sprung into action taking food to David and his men. She humbled herself before David and acknowledged her husband’s foolishness to David. She spared David from making a foolish decision that would have cost him.
David heeded this wise woman’s advice. Abigail knew her husband was a fool and self-centered, but she wasn’t.
She knew her choices could bring about good things despite the foolishness of her husband…She was led by God. Her choices could bring help or a hindrance. Abigail was sensitive and her wise advice influenced David’s heart. Eventually, Nabal died, and when He did. David asked Abigail to be His wife. He saw a Godly wise woman who lived unselfishly.
3 Ways A Wise Woman Builds Her House
Let’s look at three things a wise woman that builds her house does:
1) She focuses on the right things.
She is focused on the relationships within her house. She is more concerned with the relationships of her home rather than being obsessed with the tasks of her home. Tasks need to be done but they don’t trump the people that live in their homes. She finds the delicate balance between the two so she isn’t flying around half-listening to conversations. She strives to be fully present with her loved ones not rushing away for the next task on the list.
2) She watches over her own heart by guarding it.
A wise woman builds her house by not being preoccupied with someone else’s home. She isn’t wasting time comparing her house with her friend’s home. She knows ingratitude will take root in her life and without realizing it she will begin to tear her own home down by criticizing it by comparing it to someone else’s home.
She doesn’t waste her time nagging, because griping backfires. It will not accomplish what you want it to do. Frustration increases for you as they tune you out. You start sounding like a broken record. Allow natural consequences to be the result instead of nagging and griping. The wisdom of allowing consequences to be the teacher keeps you from tearing down the principles you are trying to teach which are, sow an action reap a consequence.
3) She doesn’t load herself down by overcommitting.
She wisely considers how much time and energy something will cost her. When someone asks her to volunteer or do something on top of her already full schedule she weighs it out. Will her output supersede her input? She finds her best yes and embraces no when it will overload and overwhelm her schedule. A depleted soul isn’t helpful on top of an already full schedule.
A wise woman learns to say, Thank you for thinking of me but my schedule doesn’t allow me to be able to do that right now. Check back with me next time and my schedule may be more flexible then.
Rest and Renewal
Saying No was a hard one for me. I was born a pleaser. Age helped along with painful lessons of exhaustion and frustration.
I remember being spread so thin that if the rubber band would have snapped somebody was gonna get hurt. Extreme tiredness from being over committed was leading to grumpiness in my life.
This caused me to feel as if I was on railroad tracks and the train was gradually catching up and I couldn’t outrun it. My over committed schedule was starting to disassemble the type of home I wanted to build.
I wanted a happy home, not for everyone to run at breakneck speed and do it with a smile. I resigned as room mom, said no to the thirty six Pampered Chef parties I was invited to and stopped beating myself up for healthy selfishness which was self care.
Rest and renewal would be the way a wise woman builds her house so peace resides within her so she can bring it into her home.
A wise woman builds her house by considering what the outcome of her actions will be. She is more focused on the internals but her home also reflects beauty with her style. She is able to extend genuine kindness to those she loves from a place of peace instead of being frazzled.
May you walk in the wisdom of building and establishing your house today. Storms will come but wisdom will keep your foundation strong. This isn’t about doing it perfectly, it’s about choosing so you can take one more step towards progress.
There may be a time you have to rebuild something. It won’t be because you have torn your house down with foolishness, it will be because life happens.