Self-deception can be dangerous because it is a way of twisting internally what you know is the reality.
It is a collection of mental acrobats of trying to convince yourself otherwise. Many times when a person starts to reject the truth about themselves or situations they take the slippery slope of denial. Every time they deny the truth and reality about themselves or a situation they feel a false sense of peace.
Avoiding the reality helps them avoid the pain. Pain is the real thing they are afraid to face because if they face the pain they have to face themselves, which is terrifying. It leaves them vulnerable and empowers them to see the truth. Once empowered to see the truth and look at their situation they are then presented with a choice. Choices mean change. The temptation to remain in the pain is great for people who are co-dependent.
Unresolved Issues of the Heart
There is a perpetual unrest because of the unresolved things in their heart. They are like a hamster on the wheel, always moving but trapped in the cycle of the wheel.
People in denial have tendencies to minimize major things in order to appease their own mind and avoid the pain. If left to have to face the pain, the resentment and hurt overwhelm their heart so they run to escape. They escape through anything that will numb or help them escape that pain and reality. They run to drugs, alcohol, religion, pornography, work anything that can provide the relief or escape from the truth of their reality.
The Drug of Denial
Denial and self-deception can be a lot like a drug. It numbs, soothes even seduces you to divert your attention away from truth and from reality. I’ve watched people busy themselves so much with activity to escape being alone with themselves and face the pain of their life.
Proverbs 16:25
There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death
Sit with yourself for a while.
Give yourself permission to not be ok.
Allow feelings and pain to surface that has been suppressed by activity or whatever you have used to numb the pain. Be proactive in your approach and not just reactive. Victim mentalities surface from legitimate wounds and a lack of empowerment.
A warped sense of Identity shapes the way you do life.
Victory is Not Illusive
Victory within you is possible. You are not trapped by the pain. You may be in bondage to it now, but you are not trapped. There is a way of escape.
It will take a lot of work and agreeing with the Holy Spirit as He reveals areas you need to forgive and areas where your mindset needs to change, but healing is within you. The same spirit that raised Christ from the dead lives inside of you so that you are able to do all things. Without Christ your spirit is dead and the only power you have is yours, and that is limited.
We Need Each Other
The benefit of community:
1) They have the ability to see in you what you can’t see.
2) They can pray for you.
3) They can share the truth about what they have experienced with you.
1 John 5:16-17
If anyone sees his brother sinning a sin which does not lead to death, he will ask, and He will give him life for those who commit sin not leading to death. There is sin leading to death. I do not say that he should pray about that. (v.17) All unrighteousness is sin, and there is sin not leading to death.
There are sins that can physically kill us, so a warning to spare our lives from death should be welcomed, but what about the less obvious things in our lives?
This is where the community ( caring friends) comes in.
Ask Yourself Some Questions
Where are the areas where we have fallen short or are just broken?
Are we not waving a white flag with a desperate attempt for relief?
You must look closely to perceive and discern the effects of a person trapped in self-deception and denial. Because after a while the person who has been in the lie for a while sees everything through a distorted lens of lies. They begin to lie to themselves to survive. Patience and prayer prepare the heart to be able to receive the truth.
The desire to be made new and whole must be greater than the desire to numb and ignore reality.
I once heard this great statement, “When the student is ready the teacher will come.”
Be patient with yourself, be patient with others. You can stand over a seed you planted and wish it would come up faster. You can pray harder over it, yell at it, dig it up and replant it but until it is planted, watered and nourished it will not grow. Are you ready? Open your heart so the teacher can come to you.
Can you think of a time when you got lost in denial?