I saw her as we pulled up. At least five hundred feet from her. She stood sobbing. Standing next to the biggest silver slide I’ve ever seen. It was the year 1975 at preschool.
My sister unequivocally didn’t want to be away from our mom or me. Nests were comfortable and she staked her claim to remain as close as possible to the one she had. There will be no kicking this bird out of the nest for preschool charades. Not having it.
Our mom knew her attachment would only be harder to leave for Kindergarten if something wasn’t done sooner. I saw all the kids running around playing but my sister had stood there crying for the entire day.
She was over it. Longest day of her life and truth be known, mine too. I felt like we left my child. I mean baby sisters feel like that. I begged our mom not to leave her again.
Mom conceded after seeing the terror on my sister’s face. I’m guessing she didn’t find her people that day. I was fine with that, because I would be her people. Her whole life if need be.
Sisters have strange relationships.
They can go from 0-90 seconds into a cat fight, but if you touch someone’s sister you might wanna back up, cause she will cut ya. You will go down. It’s like a universal law that you must have each other’s backs. It’s in the rule book.
Like my divorce. My temporary insanity season brought out, let’s say, not the parts I was proud of. Nor wanted broadcast. My sister however, would make it real clear that she could say anything to me; but if you did…
You would soon experience trouble in your paradise. Capish? You get my drift. I mean sisters get you. They can get spitting mad at you, but it sure doesn’t give anyone else that pass. This provides the ”I will kick your a** over her” allegiance that sisters share.
My sister was so shy as a child. When someone spoke to her she always pulled her dress up over her head. It wasn’t as if they couldn’t see her, but it felt safe because she at least couldn’t see them. Never mind that the shot of her panties were a free for all. But hey, a girl must do what a girl must do. Especially, when she needs to escape the pressure of human interaction.
Sometimes people can scare the bejeezus out of you, making you resort to pulling your dress up over your head.
I’m not sure how effective this is, but at minimum it can buy you some time. Time to think quick and come up with a plan. Meander through the rolodex in your mind.
People can be scary.
They don’t eat you, but they can unnerve you to the point that you would have preferred being eaten.
I can remember my sister running from the pizza delivery man when he delivered a pizza. Wait for it… she was the one who ordered the pizza. Oh good Lord. Have we come to this? Running to hide from the snot nose pizza delivery kid. He has pizza, not a machete.
Laughter would often erupt over the years as we talked about these things. I was a little more brazen. Always ready for the next adventure, coaxing her into joining me. She went along. Nervous and all.
We survived those shenanigans. She definitely was a head turner, but never knew she was. Her low self esteem would kick in and get the best of her. The devil using her friends to reinforce it. I struggled liking those girls then. And probably still do now.
Who uses someone’s insecurities to belittle them? To make them feel beneath. Or that they don’t measure up so don’t try. Not the kind of girls I wanna hang with that make my sister feel less than.
She wasn’t then and isn’t now. I have a sneaky suspicion that it always was about their own insecurities and not a thread to do with my sisters stuff.
Women can be Catty.
My soft side loves them, but rest assured I have a back side that knows them.
Men, not so much. They say what they mean and mean what they say. It’s straightforward with no mincing of words. I like that. No guessing,
You always know where you stand. Maybe you have a fight, go outside whip each other’s a** and then head back in for a beer.
Everything’s over and settled.
Women? Never. It lingers like the plague. Like some Ebola virus.
Threatening every ounce of relational security you’ve ever clung too. It’s like that place you stood in and the air you breathed was eliminated. Strange huh? Welcome to the life of women.
Often eating one another for lunch rather than serving one another lunch. It’s a crying shame because we need each other. For strength, For support. For sorting through Momming. That stuff is the stuff of life.
The stuff that makes us and if we aren’t careful it breaks us.
Breaks us when we are alone because we think we have need of no one.
Breaks us because we have believed a lie that we can trust no one.
Breaks us because we took a break from needing one another.
We are a Big Hot Mess.
A sloppy, messy broken bunch of people; yet God in his infinite wisdom said. You need one another. You need all your imperfect friends. And they need you. They need your vulnerable stories that make them show up and scream, Me too!
They connect with you and your insecure vulnerable parts. They know they aren’t alone, that everyone of us have felt dumped on and left to fend for ourselves.
The key is, I have cracks wide enough for you to slip into so you can see the real me. The scared me. The, I don’t know how to do this me. The same terrified little girl that’s in me is in you and when they meet it’s gonna be magic.
Hand holding, chanting through the halls, “ We want the girls”. With our arms swung over the shoulder of our friends we are secure. We make a wall. A storm wall. It defies logic because it’s just vulnerable girls unified.
With fight in their voice they discern how to defeat their enemies. Through unity. Through, I am for you. Through, I believe in you.
Able to resist attacks because the thing that made them strong was the thing they thought made them weak. Vulnerability. Openness. Trust. Linking arms with all ladies. Chanting, We want the girls, because all of us are the girls.
Hard Cold Facts…But…
Are we gonna hurt each other? You bet. Are we gonna disappoint each other? Umm yep. Are we gonna fight and pout our way through? Everytime. Why? Because ladies, when the chips are down, girls show up.
You lose your job. Bam. We’re eating dinner together that night talking about it. Strategizing for what is next.
Your family gets hit with the threat of divorce. We pray. Pray all night if need be.
Your teenager goes off the rails. We get in the car and go look for him.
Your teenager gets pregnant. Show her grace and help her prepare for a baby.
So, the next time you are tempted to run away from girls run to them. You might find an unexpected blessing there because they’ve been waiting for you to show up. So, let’s hear it for the girls.
What do you think? I’d love to hear it.