James 5:17-18<\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\nI walked in the back door with grocery bags lined up and down my arms because who has time for two trips to the car.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My heart felt heavy all morning but I wanted to ignore it. Distracting myself again, I noticed more tasks in the room I could do after putting up the groceries.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I knew better though. With the tugging of my heart, I knew the Lord was pulling me to talk with him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Honestly, I didn’t want to talk or pray. I would rather stay distracted. <\/strong>It had been a hard season. It wasn’t gonna magically disappear though unless I went in to deal with my raw emotions, head first.<\/p>\n\n\n\nWho signs up to do that?<\/strong> None of us do, we don\u2019t want to so we resist.<\/p>\n\n\n\nWords came blasting through my mouth like a machine gun. I began pouring out words, of which there seemed to be no end. I ached. I needed to \u201cpray.\u201d But was I praying?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\nIt seemed more like launching of emotional grenades except they were words. Words that expressed to God the hurt that I thought I had neatly tucked away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When We Tuck Things Away<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Tucking things away has a way of leaking out. Rub me the wrong way and the trickling of my hurt shows up. Ultimately, hindering my prayers if I don\u2019t deal with it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sometimes, God is more interested in the pray-er more than the prayer. <\/strong>Here\u2019s what I think happens to all of us. Life happens. Pain happens. We get squeezed and whatever is in us comes out.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\nUnderneath the disappointment and hurt, we wrestle with God. I\u2019ve been the queen of, \u201cBut God why?\u201d<\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n\u201cWhy did you allow this.\u201d Or, \u201cWhy didn’t you stop that?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Hurt on top of hurt I thought about the 2,436 prayers and petitions prayed over a specific relationship with the same answer. Nothing. Absolutely no change. At least not from my view.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I realized in our talk\/wrestling match I was hurt with God. Being fully aware He is sinless and I am not, the struggle was on. Since He\u2019s God He wasn’t shocked about my struggle.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\nOur prayer time can turn into us vomiting spiritually. This isn’t bad. He waits for us there, knowing where we will end up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The Holy Spirit helps us to move from unloading our issues to downloading God\u2019s heart in the midst of our struggles.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n