From the end of the earth I will cry to you. When my heart is overwhelmed; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. – Psalm 61:2
I stood still. Blood began draining from my face as my heart raced faster than I could think.
As I looked down at my newborn’s face, tears began searching for somewhere to land. It seemed as if the walls were closing in and getting out seemed a long way off. Like centuries.
The big box store I was standing in became smaller by the second. Something strange was happening. A panic attack.
Struggles with the stress of a very colicky baby and juggling another toddler was overwhelming.
Add in a healthy dose of raging hormones with postpartum baby blues and you have a recipe for anxiety.
Wanting to do it all well, I felt drained and overwhelmed.
Wrestling within myself, I spoke…
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, I’m your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. – Isaiah 41:10
Anxiety showed up unannounced with a suitcase.
No prep time. No tidying the place up. Just showed up at my door. Anxiety stands there looking smug. Holding fear and worry like it’s a hostess gift.
‘Powering through’ had become like an old friend that held my hand. But it wasn’t working this time. I needed to leave. Now.
As the panic grew stronger and the room smaller, I reminded myself to breathe deep and calm myself.
Gasping for air, I called out to The Lord and gentle reminders of scripture came to me with a wave of calm.
The voice of God’s Spirit began to bring a hush to my overwhelmed heart. Over and over truth began to soothe my heart.
From the end of the earth I will cry to you. When my heart is overwhelmed; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. – Psalm 61:2
Peace rushed over me and rocked me as if I was the newborn at that moment.
This was where I was back then. 24 yrs ago. I look back at the younger me and say, ‘You’re gonna make it through.’
God reminding through years of tears and trials, He is able. When I can’t pick myself up, rest on the rock.
Anxiety often intrudes when I need to be calm. Not worked up and undone. Anxiety suggests I think things through like a methodical inspector. I think things over, alot.
Overthinking turns to obsessing about things out of reach and control. Stress magnifies it and things concerning me can start consuming me.
Peace comes when piece by piece we surrender to the one who cradles our hearts.
Casting our cares is possible if we can peel them from our ‘fix it fingers’ and let go.
Peace comes when we hold onto the only one who can handle it all.
It’s Your Turn
Do you have moments when peace seems far away?
What has God taught you about living in His grace and peace?
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